This holiday season has been such a special time with many joyous moments! My New Year’s resolutions have more meaning after sweet times of celebrating the holidays with grandchildren, children, parents, nieces and nephews. In this post, I will discuss the importance of treating others with mercy when interacting with them during the holidays. This is also something I teach in my etiquette classes for adults!
Remember: Manners Flow From a Heart of Mercy
On a personal note, throughout the holiday season, there were many times I wished that I had said less and had instead listened more attentively to what others were trying to express. We all need to strive to keep mercy in our hearts. Without mercy, manners cannot occur.
In my classes, I teach about situational awareness and on being aware of one’s surroundings. It may be easier in a business setting or away from home, but we often do not practice this with family members. This is the primary cause for family drama and stress. Forgiveness and awareness are the keys to loving relationships. We all struggle with holding onto what others have said and what others may not have done when we fail to realize any situations that they may be going through. If we can only see the big picture, we would say and act differently!
As we look towards 2024, make it a New Year’s resolution to grow in spending time with your loved ones, calling frequently and in remembering the birthday and anniversary dates of family members. These things help in bonding relationships.
The following are additional suggestions to help you bond with family members and forge deeper relationships:
- Open all conversations with sincere questions about the person you are talking to instead of just sharing information about yourself. Find ways to talk about what is going on in the other person’s life.
- Do not discuss travel-related topics if the person you are with does not travel.
- Do not talk about yourself until you are asked.
- Be quick to say you are sorry.
- Let every word that comes out of your mouth be pleasing to our Heavenly Father.
- Remember all truths are not necessary to speak if they could possibly hurt the reputation of others.
- Eat food that is served to you.
- Go to the table when the host starts preparing the meal and is ready to eat. Be mindful that your mealtime schedule may not be your host’s schedule. Stay on schedule with your host!
- Do not ask to drive your host’s car. If you are not picked up at the airport by your host, rent a vehicle or use a ride-share service like Uber.
- Never tell someone that you do not like or want a gift you received. Keep that information to yourself out of politeness and kindness.
- When a spouse, mother, brother, sister, child or guest are speaking to you, never turn your back while the other person is talking. Maintain eye contact with the other person.
- As a host, stand at the door until your guests are out of sight.
- Write a Thank You note to your host or hostess for your stay.
- If you stay in someone’s home, leave the room where you slept in a better condition than when you arrived.
- Do not be afraid to give Thanks or say a Blessing in someone’s home…simply ask with respect.
- Always take off your shoes when entering someone’s home. However, do not walk on floors with bare feet…use socks instead.
- Do not talk about other family members.
- When interacting with others, ask yourself, “Am I building relationships up or am I tearing them down because of my emotions?”
- Dress up when dining at someone else’s home.
- Do not request special foods.
- When celebrating, be mindful of children, elders and everyone present. Make sure everyone is engaging with each other at the event.
- If children are present, do not overindulge in alcohol or food.
- Accommodate all special needs to the best of your ability.
- Remember grandparents with cards and gifts.
Want to Improve Your Business and Family Relationships? Consider Etiquette Classes for Adults
At the end of the day, it is not what we say or the presents we give, but it is how we make others feel. How did you feel after family interactions this holiday season? How did you make others feel? When we pray and are quick to apologize (even when we may think we are right), blessings occur! Listen, Love and Learn. Life will get better!
Lisa Burdette is a Dallas area expert in etiquette and manners. She teaches etiquette classes for adults to equip business professionals, elementary-aged and college-aged students and individuals with the skills they need to develop positive habits for success in life and work.
Ready to book your session with Lisa? Send a message via our Contact page to begin booking today!