My journey as an etiquette consultant continues to grow! Increasingly, I am asked to teach on bad manners and improper behavior at the table or in public. I have found that when I teach fine dining for two hours and give children my attention in eye contact and conversation, behavior problems diminish. Parents, time and attention with your children precedes manners. This is the most important way you can ensure that your family grows in good manners for kids.
Parents, You Can Help Your Children Succeed!
We live in a fast-paced world where mom and dad are both working and the most important job mom has for the kids is to schedule appointments, tutors, ball games and social events. As a society, we must go back to spending time each day with our children in conversation! Talk to your child and have a sit-down dinner together when you can. If you decide to get fast food, sit down at the table and talk about your child’s day with him or her. At the very least, get creative and talk together while you’re driving!
Set aside time for one-on-one talks. Listen to your child and let him or her be heard while letting them know you will be making decisions in their best interest.
Teach your children to ask about your day and how things went for you. Teach your children to call grandparents and ask grandparents what they are doing and how they are. Recently, I visited with a family in France, and, in their culture, parents insist that their children engage with grandparents and help them as well as younger siblings. Essentially, teach your children to be givers and not takers.
Train your children to be aware of the needs of others. This includes community service, helping family members or doing chores at home. Do not be afraid to ask your child to help you. Teach your children to plan for others and not to arrive at a relative’s home looking to be served. Help your child understand the importance of fellowship, family and community connection. Talk about those who are sick and prepare a meal with your child to take to them. Encourage your children to care about those who have had sickness or a death in the family.
Take time to brief your child before school, before church, before a wedding, before social events, before family events, before vacations and before sporting events. Prepare them for what is ahead. Give them the protocols and expectations of the event or day. As a teacher myself, children who are briefed have less anxiety.
Teach your children the importance of character. Never assume anything. When you bring a child into the world, it is your child. God anoints parents as mama and daddy. Grandpa and grandma can be a wonderful support system but are ultimately not responsible for your child. Similarly, babysitters, nannies, counselors, doctors and teachers are not responsible for teaching proper social behavior, manners, character etc to your children. You have approximately 18 years to do your job as parents, and then you must allow them to fly. Treasure each moment you have with them! Talk to them about the importance of good character, respecting authority and respecting their teachers. Pray with them.
Stay engaged in your child’s life. Get to know your child’s teachers, friends, and parents of his or her friends. Stay actively involved with their circle of friends. It is your responsibility as a parent to decide who they visit. Watch them carefully and teach them to choose friends who have the same values that you are teaching. By knowing their teachers and parents of their friends, you’ll be better able to choose where they go.
Do not send your children off on a regular basis to other peoples’ homes or to relatives. Again, you are anointed and appointed mama and daddy and no one should have the influence on them like parents.
Keep track of your child’s media input. Monitor all social media, check phones, and, based on the behavior of your child, monitor all in and out emails. Supervise games and videos that might distract them from their work or even cause disruptive behavior.
Plan historical trips with your child! Teach them about your culture, faith, and the history of the United States. We have many wonderful sites in the USA. Have your children record and keep a summer journal of events. One event could be dining with grandparents.
You can give your children an advantage in life by helping them learn how to conduct themselves at sports events, school or family gatherings, at church or other social events. Manners will produce happy children and happy children tend to have more self-confidence. Above all, children should be taught to practice manners and social skills while at home. By exposing children to dining experiences and social events where manners is expected, you’ll help to expedite their good behavior and manners when they are away from you.
Lisa’s Etiquette and Dallas Manners for Kids Sessions Can Help Your Family
In conclusion, spend time with your children! Engage with them and let them know that you are the guide, example, teacher, caretaker and the one who nurtures them. God has given you a gift and what you do with that gift is your gift back to God and society.
Teach, treasure and train.
Lisa Burdette is a Dallas, Texas etiquette expert, teacher and mom with years of experience and training in manners for kids. She can help your family with private and group lessons that can help to enhance the skills they are already learning at home. Reach out via our Contact page to request your manners for kids session with Lisa today! The Dallas School of Etiquette also offers business etiquette and fine dining sessions for teens and adults.
