Today’s parents spend hours of time and large sums of money to prepare holiday events for their children. These events can include sleigh rides, Santa and The Grinch visits, parties, gift giving, shopping, church celebrations and renting out a hotel venue for dinners with family. While these can all be a joyous experience, things can become very frustrating if your child is not adequately prepped beforehand. As parents, we may prep for various phases of our child’s life but forget to talk to our children before an event. In this post, I’ll discuss manners for kids and tips on how to prepare your child for a successful holiday season!
Good Behavior Begins with Instruction
I want to emphasize to parents that they need to concentrate on their children’s character and explain the why behind good behavior. Be quick to administer consequences for bad behavior and explain that adults get hard and fast consequences when they misbehave. I often use the example of speeding. Why should we obey the speed limit? What happens if we do not obey? This is a good example that most can understand.
For parties, it helps to prepare children by explaining the event in detail and telling them any expectations the host or venue may have. Rules and regulations give children guidelines so that they know what to say and how to act before you all arrive. It is so important for your children to be given instructions. They are like sponges and will absorb what’s said. They will even point out dos and don’ts upon arrival if you just take time to prep. Otherwise, inappropriate behavior may be rampant, and you’ll set everyone up for a stressful gathering.
As a positive example, I recently spent time with my grandsons and we had a glorious day ice skating, eating lunch and shopping for Christmas gifts. I had instructed my grandsons beforehand on what to expect and how to act. I also gave them step-by-step safety guides before we arrived. What a wonderful day!
Church and Holiday Family Gatherings
Parents, please remind your children to be grateful for their grandparents, food, gifts and all they have been given. Remind them of all the hard work it takes to cook and clean as well as to purchase and wrap gifts. Teach them the following:
- Leave grandparents a Thank You note.
- Leave your room clean wherever you might be staying.
- Never say “I do not like the food.” In many cultures, this is absolutely unacceptable. Teach children to try to be polite. Discuss what it means to make the host feel good.
- Let children see sincerity in you. Offer to take a gift or food to help your host.
- Arrive on time and do not over-stay your welcome.
- Teach your children the importance of asking others about what is going on in their life. This is a golden rule in my book!
Good Manners for Kids Involves Situational Awareness
Kindness begins with having a sincere awareness for those around you. After taking a Situational Awareness course, I learned just how selfish we as adults can be by not acting interested in new topics. Our culture is very self-centric, and children pick up on our behavior as adults. Allow your children to see you asking about others and placing the needs of others before your own. Teach them to never put others down. Never appear to use people to get what you want. Be kind and give everyone the same respect.
Here are a few suggestions:
- Walk into a room and concentrate on those you are visiting. Do not talk about yourself until asked.
- Show interest in whatever your host is interested in and do not be pushy with your likes and dislikes.
- If there is a dietary medical need, it is ok to mention this. This is the only case where a guest should make a special request.
- Teach your children that others may have different tastes and ways of doing things. Your host may serve different types of foods and the polite thing to do is to try and eat what you can.
- Make sure your children know the importance of eye contact. This means eye contact to the following:
- Teachers
- Relatives
- Those in the Service Industry, including Waiters. Every time a waiter approaches your table, make eye contact with your request and gratitude.
- Eye contact is a must in all conversations.
- All humans!
Please teach your children not to explore all the rooms of a house where you are visiting. They should remain with you at all times and it is never appropriate to allow your child to roam around a business, or someone’s house, store, venue, church or country club without your supervision.
This will be a refection on you. You are responsible for your children and malls, hotels, restaurants, country clubs, churches, a relative’s home, stores or sport gyms should never be used as playgrounds. This is unacceptable and if you want your family to shine, always be in reach of your children. This includes teenagers as well!
Holiday Success with Manners for Kids in Dallas
In conclusion, it is not my intent be harsh. My qualifications as a mom, step-mom, step-grandmother, grandmother and teacher have taught me many life lessons that I love sharing with others.
My children were and are not perfect, but I worked hard on parent prep to help them in life. Please know that this time with your kids will be gone in a flash. Your efforts and time spent will be reflected in your child’s character, faith, school studies, job performance and life as a good citizen. It may be tough now, but just smile and say to yourself, “I am anointed and appointed as a Mom / Dad.” Remember, should you fail to place your influence on your children, society or someone else will!
Dallas Etiquette expert, Lisa Burdette, offers private and group lessons in manners for kids. She can help your family succeed while at home or out and about this Christmas season.
Want your son or daughter to treat others with kindness and respect? Or, prefer a business etiquette class for adults? We can help you! Reach out via our Contact page to request your etiquette session with Lisa today!
