As an American and a military mom, I have so much admiration for all those serving in the armed forces. While visiting West Point, I observed with joy how the Cadets behaved with respect and attentiveness to learning. What a blessing. In today’s blog post, I’ll share how compliance and respect for authority figures is an important part of manners training in my etiquette classes for kids.
The West Point Example
West Point is truly one of our national treasures, not to be taken for granted. The standards at West Point offer a great example to others when the virtues of good character are present. West Pointers come to the Academy with respect for The United States of America and learn how to be responsible civic-minded individuals with strong social, educational and religious values.
- A Cadet presents himself with respect to superiors, and this begins with grandparents, parents, family members, teachers, professors, officers, judges, caretakers, firefighters and police officers.
- A Cadet displays sportsmanship and respects the rules of games.
- A Cadet learns to maintain eye contact at all times and to exercise the proper volume while having conversation.
- A Cadet practices standing and sitting at the proper times, and makes sure all other Cadets were served at the table before taking a first bite. In addition, Cadets never lick their fingers and are willing to cut salad into small bites (exercising continental dining). The American dining method is also taught as an option.
- Above all, a Cadet displays respect for the rule of law which codifies ethical standards. “Let reverence for the laws,….become the political religion of the nation”, stated Abraham Lincoln in his Lyceum Address. This falls under our deity, God Almighty.
The Value of Respect
When instructing children and adults in manners, I teach that honor, truth and respect are at the forefront. The first rule in George Washington’s 110 Rules of Civility is “Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.” I believe that as a nation, we must daily execute the respect that was demonstrated by our forefathers. For if we do, manners have occurred.
What is Etiquette and Manners?
Etiquette is a set of rules and norms designed to show individuals how to display polite behavior. When humans know and follow rules for behavior, we say that they have good manners. Part of becoming socialized within a culture is learning what that culture considers acceptable behavior – in attire, in conversation and, above all, in dining habits. Proper etiquette can vary from culture to culture, so it is important to study the manner of all cultures you encounter in business and everyday life.
Real manners can only occur when we have a pure heart that is guided by our Heavenly Father. First Corinthians 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” Our behavior must reflect the Spirit of God. Seek to make the needs of others paramount to your own needs. People feel and see actions more than words. Eye contact, dressing smartly and accepting the responsibility to show an interest in others are all ways we exhibit real manners.
In addition, manners start in the home. Children must see their parents loving each other and showing respect for authority figures. After all, children are a reflection of what they have been taught. Parents, take the time to engage in conversation with your children daily and teach them to show an interest in others. Engage in service-oriented activities as a family. Identify the needs of those in your community and engage your children in giving and in discussing the needs of others. Encourage them to keep the focus on others instead of themselves. Parents, teach children to acknowledge everyone without knowing someone else’s title or position. Emulate respect in your lives. Allow others to see you giving time to everyone before you know their qualifications or position.
Families come to me asking for recommendations about community service. My answer is always the same…go and serve the needs of others. Just look around for opportunities and include your children! Leadership training begins by teaching your children to walk into a room and seek to know and learn about others. When your child experiences the joy from helping others, happiness will abound.
In conclusion, keep your hearts pure by seeking God. Keep your behavior a reflection of Christ. Teach your children to identify and busy themselves with the needs of others. Real etiquette is taking the time to think about the needs of others and maintaining situational awareness at all times. Good etiquette builds relationships that build towers that build and hold our world together. Trust and respect must be at the core. So, do not just learn about etiquette and rules of civility, but practice them in your life. Embrace a daily practice of prayer and etiquette today.
Dallas-Based Family Etiquette Classes for Kids and Teenagers
Lisa Burdette is a Dallas etiquette expert and loves equipping families for success in interactions at school, work and the home. She has trained in London and Paris and has experience with teaching social graces, interview preparation for college and military academies, business etiquette and table manners / dining etiquette. Her private and group etiquette classes for kids and business professionals have helped many individuals as well as businesses, country clubs etc (such as Hotel Drover, The University of Texas at Dallas, Toyota Corporation and others). She has become a sought-after etiquette consultant in the areas of hospitality, dining, social skills and more. She was also able to share etiquette tips with the United States Air Force Academy (USAFA) Class of 2025.
For more information or to request a custom etiquette session for your child, contact Lisa via her Contact page or Book Online today!
