In my etiquette classes for kids, I have so many parents ask me “How do I get my children to engage or sit at the table?” I tell them that I can plant the seed in a child’s heart by teaching good manners, but this plant will not grow if it isn’t watered.
As parents, you can “water” the hearts of your children by seeking to engage in regular interactions with them. Treat your children and all around you with respect. Allow your children to see you make mistakes and model the way to handle tough situations. In today’s blog post, I’ll share about the value of “family briefings” for your children and will go over some additional tips for helping your child succeed in their social interactions.
The Importance of Family Briefings
- Brief your children before you go out to dinner. Set the expectations for them before you leave the house. Engage with them and ask them to write out five questions to ask others at the dinner table. This prepares their minds for engagement with others and helps you coach them on what to say or not say.
- When eating at home, have your child set the dinner table each and every night.
- Never allow an iPad or similar device at the table or at a restaurant. Parents, make time to talk to your children at the table.
- Teach social skills to your children by allowing them to see you interact with neighbors, friends and family.
- Take kids to church, weddings and funerals. It is important for children to be included in these types of events so that they learn about life. While play is essential, practicing grown-up social skills are a must.
- Plan one night at dinner where the entire family all dresses up. This is a great way to help children practice their formal dining skills.
- After meals, teach your children how to clean up and allow them to clean and wash the dishes.
- Expose your children to different foods. Do not allow them choices…they are children and you are the parents. Choose your child’s foods, and slowly allow them to choose options such as broccoli or green beans.
- Practice dining conversations as a family. Teach children to ask about others. Even toddlers as small as two or three can be taught to develop a social awareness of the needs of those around them.
- Invite guests or family members over to your home for dinner. Remember, brief your children before this social event. Instruct them in behavioral expectations and what to do.
Essentially, the two key points I want to emphasize to parents are…
- Brief your children before social events.
- Instruct your children in proper behavior.
How do I Strengthen Family Ties & Prepare My Child to Lead and Be Successful in Life?
For the past two decades, many parents have chosen to focus on achievement in their homes and not on character development. Character became secondary to achievement. Why has this become the case? I believe that contributing factors include Mom spending most of her time at work and a decrease in church or faith affiliation in the American home.
Instead of character development, the American home is centered around possessions, sports involvement and entertainment / technology. As for discipline in the public school system, the word “discipline” has been replaced with “diagnosis”. While all of this may sound grim, this article comes from the depths of my soul.
Trust is learned and copied and engrained into one’s character at a very early age. What we do when no one is looking is what really counts. Thoughts become actions, which become habits, and habits can destroy all accomplishments in one wrong step. Manners are missing all around us! Just go into a restaurant and observe the engagement between Mom, Dad and child. Most children today have been given iPads to keep them quiet and entertained.
Below are a few suggestions to enhance your family life and strengthen the core values of the home.
- Pray with your children.
- Make church or your religious affiliation part of your weekly routine as a family.
- Eat meals together, even if you go to a fast food restaurant. Sit with your children, observe them, listen to them and make eye contact with them.
- Teach your children the value of manners and to have a consideration for others.
- When talking to an adult, teach children not to interrupt. Tell them that patience is a virtue and that they should wait until the appropriate moment to speak.
- In your own life and actions, work to model respectful behavior to them.
- Grandparents are a treasure. Teach your children to value, help, honor and respect them.
- When visiting someone else’s home, it is important to know how to behave. Teach your children what they should and should not do.
- Teach children to say “Please” and “Thank You”. Parents, please teach your children that the only “right” they’ve been given is to obey (do right).
- Instruct your children that, if they misbehave in public, other people will not want them around. Teach them to sit and listen. Explain that, while there is a time for children to run and play, there is also a time to sit, listen and obey. The dinner table is the perfect place for this to occur.
- Do not be afraid to allow your children to see your weaknesses.
- Parents, remember that your children belong to you. When you pass them off to teachers, relatives or friends in the name of “fun” or get-away trips, you are robbing them and yourselves of valuable time together. Children are not pets. They have souls and minds that will be developed by someone. Relatives, media outlets, friends, the educational system etc will all influence them…and you ultimately are responsible for their upbringing.
- If children are left to evolve, they will surely devolve.
- Teach your kids how to hold a fork and what to do with a napkin.
- Teach children to speak and to look adults in the eye when they talk to them.
- Teach them to respect the property of others.
- Teach them to share time and possessions with others.
- Encourage children to reach out and show genuine concern for others.
- Teach children to refrain from saying “I do not like this food”. Americans may not see a problem with this, but it is not okay to say in other cultures.
Looking for an Etiquette Instructor in Dallas? Choose Lisa’s Etiquette Classes for Kids
Manners expert, Lisa Burdette, loves working with adults and children in Texas to help them learn proper etiquette for their interactions at school, work and the home. She has trained in London and Paris and has experience with teaching social graces, business etiquette and table manners / dining etiquette. Her private and group etiquette classes for kids and business professionals have helped many individuals with increasing their self-confidence.
In addition, Lisa also works with children or adults on afternoon tea manners. One company Lisa recommends for a great tea selection (or spa treatments) in Farmers Branch, TX is CHIOMA – Wellness, Beauty Apothecary & Spa.
For more information or to request a custom etiquette session for your child, contact Lisa via her Contact page or Book Online today!
